2. If someone says they don’t need a relationship, consider them.
While Summer does lead Tom on at times throughout the movie, the reality of the matter is that she did fully and adamantly communicate that she was not in search of a relationship. She desired to rejoice, and Tom was fun! They had quite a bit in common, from their love of sad British music like The Smiths to obscure movies and more. However, Tom took these mutual interests and chemistry as signs of compatibility, ignoring Summer’s clear message that she was not excited by pursuing a relationship with him. In other words, he refused to consider what she was saying and ascribed alternate meanings to her words. That possibly she just needed time to let her partitions down and let him in.
3. Your expectations will break your heart greater than anything.
One of probably the most powerful and beautifully-shot moments is the side-by-side depiction of the misalignment that usually plays out between our expectations and reality.
Summer and Tom had already been broken up for a while but had run into each other at a mutual friend’s wedding. The two bonded, danced, and drank together. It (almost) seemed as if things hadn’t modified much. They definitely hadn’t for Tom, not less than.
Some time in the longer term, Summer invites Tom to her apartment for a celebration. As the narrator states, “Tom walked to her apartment, intoxicated by the promise of the evening. He believed that this time, his expectations would align with reality.”
Each shot within the segment shows this was not the case in any respect. In fact, Tom runs out of the party once he sees Summer has an engagement ring on her finger. She fell in love with another person.
4. Love won’t prevent.
Tom grew up believing that he’d never truly be pleased until he found “The One,” which is perhaps a part of the explanation he put a lot pressure on having things work out with Summer. At one point, he even admits that his feelings for Summer make him feel like life is value living.
The truth of the matter is love won’t prevent. This isn’t to say you might want to be perfectly healed so as to find it, though. But you not less than need to be attempting to get yourself and life together before you share it with another person.
5. Healing from heartbreak takes time.
Sometimes, a lot of time. And the method isn’t linear either. In fact, 500 Days Of Summer is even filmed out of order for example this. The movie jumps from various deadlines to indicate the juxtaposition of when Tom was in love with Summer, healing from Summer, and eventually moving on from Summer.
6. Illusions will at all times disintegrate eventually.
Throughout the non-linear film, we’re shown flashbacks of Tom’s perspective of his romance with Summer. Initially, every part in his mind’s eye seems romantic and promising. However, towards the top of the movie, after Tom’s little sister encourages him to look backward at his love affair with Summer in a more realistic lens, the rose-colored glasses fall off and we see the complete picture: Summer was not excited by him in the identical way he was in her. And there have been loads of signs that showed this.
7. You have to love someone for who they really are (not for who you think they’re).
Probably the most important takeaway from 500 Days Of Summer is the risks of falling in love with the concept of somebody, and never who they really are. Tom placed Summer on a pedestal, hopelessly pining after her because he felt that there would never be anyone else who he could possibly love the way in which he loved her. And he is perhaps right, but only because he constructed who he thought she was, not embracing who she actually was. Sure, the Summer he made up can have been his dream girl, but you will have to get up from dreams eventually, right? As Tom’s Paul puts it about his partner, Robyn:
