Is there anything sweeter than a soul-refreshing friendship? You know the one you possibly can randomly meet up with at a coffee shop, spill your guts, after which receive a warm and understanding hug. Then you could have the mom who gives you encouragement and helpful advice while you’re within the trenches of a really disheartening and difficult season of motherhood.
Ahh, sweet friendships. We all need them, right? And yes, we have to be those friends as well. But possibly questions flood your heart. Questions like: What sorts of friend should I actually be trying to find? Are there different sorts of friends for various seasons of my life? Does that essentially mean I have to change as well?
Well, my sweet friend, is it okay that I call you that? I do know we haven’t officially met, but I actually have a keen feeling that if I met you over a warm cup of coffee we’d in some way just click. That’s because should you are here (at iBelieve), you might be my form of gal. All that aside, let’s be honest for only a minute, we could?
I actually have had all those questions mentioned above about friendships as well, and more. That’s because relationships with other women aren’t at all times so cut and dry. Friendships might be tricky and never really easy to navigate. Our emotions and hearts get invested, and we are able to spend loads of time with these girls. And sadly, sometimes hurt happens.
While people move, some change, and others just aren’t your cup of tea (and that’s okay), there are those that bring on friction, cause confusion, and should bring you to query in the event that they are the “right” form of friend.
So, how can we find and keep friends who truly are what the Bible calls “sweet friendships” (Proverbs 27:9)? You know, the sweet friend who doesn’t just “get you” but comes alongside you to like, encourage, and hold you accountable. Not only that but she leads you to grow in your faith and love the Lord with all of your heart!
Sis, regardless of what season you might be in, whether you might be a single girlie or a mom of faculty kiddos, there are three forms of friends you would like (and have to be), starting immediately!
1. The Mentor Friend
Think the Titus 2 woman. Every woman needs an older (and wiser) faith-filled woman to lean on. The one who has “been there and done that” and might share her pearls of wisdom all while encouraging you to be the lady, wife, and mother God is asking you to be.
In Titus 2, 1 Timothy, and a couple of Timothy, Paul is giving instructions to the church leaders on the best way to “train” a younger group of men and ladies. His message continues to be loud and clear today, because it is to insinuate that elderly God-fearing women within the church have to lay out an example for the following generation of girls.
These lovely ladies can provide invaluable insight on the best way to stay faithful, be of sober-mind, and remain steadfast under trials while showing characteristics of dignity, self-resect, and godly submission in every aspect of our lives.
Who wouldn’t need a friend like this? Better yet, who wouldn’t wish to be this type of friend to a different?
As faithful women, we’re all called to hunt sensible counsel in the shape of a mentor, in addition to be mentors, especially inside the Body of Christ (1 Timothy 4:12, 2 Timothy 2:2). As we seek to carry each other up in Christ, with a mindset to shape the following generation, we have now the power to realize among the sweetest friendships we’ll ever know all while growing an increasing number of like Christ.
2. The Memory-Maker Friend
Oh, the simply sweet memory-maker friend. As the name implies, a memory-making friend is the one you meet up with and “make memories.” This is your peer, the one who’s within the thick of the season you might be in, right beside you, cheering you on as if also attempting to motivate herself (1 Thessalonians 5:11). You can laugh, cry, scream, vent, and overshare with this girl. She gets it because she resides it too!
Text this girl to satisfy on the park in five minutes, she’s there. Chat on the phone within the closet during nap time, she’ll listen. She’s got your back and also you’ve got hers. You can exit to the films and giggle over the cheesy plot or get away for a weekend and have the time of your life. This friend is pretty amazing!
The truth is that God created us to be relational beings and to find a way to do that life together in a relatable and special way. He made friendship for us to commune and fellowship, so once we get along with these dear friends, we reap the advantages tenfold (1 John 1:7, Acts 2:42). Praise God for that!
That said, these friendships have to be built on mutual trust and respect, otherwise tension can ensue, and negative feelings can unravel, creating devastating consequences (Proverbs 16:28). While these friends sadly can come and go out and in of our lives for various reasons, we must treasure the time we have now with these dear sisters. All in all, just be the form of friend you seek and treat these beauties like the true gems that they really are (Luke 6:31)!
3. The Meaningful Friend
This is the well-meaning friend who ever so sweetly tells it prefer it is. This friend will see your blind spots and be sure you let you recognize. However, behind her words is a heart of pure gold as she strives to serve and love others through servanthood.
Need a meal after the brand new little bundle arrives, she’s got you covered. Have a prayer request, she’s on it! She’ll principally be the one to drop every little thing she is doing and graciously serve you with an open mind and soft heart. She’s there, at all times dependable, and her love for Jesus is outwardly evident.
A meaningful friend will encourage you by utilizing her own gifts and abilities all while supporting and declaring your beautiful gifts, talents, and attributes. In other words, she wants you to be one of the best version of yourself and deeply cares about your heart. What a rare thing today!
Meanwhile, probably the most beautiful thing about this friend is her ability to make use of compassion as a base to develop a relationship. She is quick to point out vulnerability, invests time and energy, and is real in her approach. This friend is solely lovely inside and outside and is intentional, often befriending the lonely and lost.
So, what form of friends are in your life? Better yet, what form of friend are you?
A Prayer for Your Friendship
Lord, thanks for the gift of friendship. Help us look to You and model the instance by which You lay out for us in Your Word on the best way to be a great friend. We wish to be a friend who’s trustworthy and shows respect and honor to our fellow sisters in Christ. Allow us to search out sensible friends to learn and grow from while also sharing wisdom when prompted. Give us those dear friends to make memories with and help us be meaningful friends who decide to see the needs of others, serving them with a heart of compassion. We are so thankful that you simply created us for fellowship and that we are able to come to You first with a raw and real heart, sharing what we’d like. Give us hearts to be the form of friend You want and wish us to be. Amen.
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/Lyndon Stratford
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