You’re sitting in the bathtub. The water is slowly going cold and your skin is ever so barely comforted by the oiliness of the bathtub additive you’re told will help your skin; but does it ever? You think to yourself, can it get much worse? My eczema makes me so ugly. I wish my skin wouldn’t crack and bleed and itch and weep. It’s painful, relentless, and gets in the best way of easy things like getting dressed, getting comfortable to fall asleep, and even getting in the best way of your sleep. You begin to resent the life you’ve been given, and also you see no way out.
You get out of the bathtub, gently pat your skin dry, wincing on the pain and sting you’re experiencing. You resist the urge to make use of your towel as a scratch tool (the sort that takes half your skin off with it) and your future self thanks you. You then undergo the strategy of applying creams, ointments and whatever else your skin must attempt to hold itself together. The process will not be only physically taxing, but your mind is overcome with fear, pain and thoughts that result in self hatred and overwhelming doubt.
Relatable? This has been me countless times throughout my life. But those feelings that plagued my mind once, are not any more.
You might imagine the phrase “modified my life” is somewhat dramatic, and I get that – but truthfully, it’s in no way dramatic in my experience. Since opening up in regards to the challenges I even have faced my entire life, because of a dysfunctioning skin barrier, my outlook and perspective has modified dramatically.
There’s no taking away from the hurt and trauma I’ve experienced, and neither am I taking away out of your experience. There are feelings to be felt, and never on daily basis is ideal. A small blip of my skin can send me spiralling, but I even have now built the tools to beat this, step-by-step. I feel acceptance means you’re capable of understand and cope with things more easily, and never simply ignore those negative feelings that come up.
But there’s lots to be said about acceptance and constructing confidence from a life battling a chronic skin condition like eczema. Here’s what I even have noticed:
Becoming more compassionate.
This is a fairly common occurrence within the chronic illness community. Compassion is a phenomenal side effect of living with a life-long condition. When you experience suffering yourself, especially over a protracted time period, you naturally feel more and are capable of be there for others going through tough times.
Loving myself more.
Eczema is hard. But so am I. I really like the bones of myself now; not in a narcissistic and self indulged way, nevertheless it’s more that I care so deeply for my emotional, physical and mental well-being that self love is only a natural a part of my life now. I appreciate myself and my body greater than ever before, and after I’m not experiencing flare ups, I don’t take any day without any consideration.
I used to hate my skin. It brought me unsurmountable pain and embarrassment. And little question if I used to be to flare up tomorrow, I could be met with the identical feelings. That’s a natural response, but I now know that I might have the ability to beat them lots easier than ever before, because of love.
Meeting probably the most incredible human beings.
This is a shout-out to the net skin condition community – I owe lots to the people I even have connected with through the years. Without opening up about my eczema, I wouldn’t have done half the things I’ve done, tried the things I’ve tried or come across the people I even have. There’s something to be said for shared experience and the facility it has over self-esteem, acceptance and most of all, not feeling alone.
I spent most of my life feeling just like the only one who was experiencing severe eczema; I felt alienated at times when that shouldn’t have been the case in any respect. I used to be never alone. Discovering the Instagram community 4 years ago and becoming a component of it was the perfect thing I ever did in my journey, and it has helped me learn a lot about myself and my condition.
My profession excelled.
As a photographer, working in communications and now, a marketing fanatic; turning my pain into purpose has given me the leg up in my profession that I never knew was possible. The knowledge I’ve gained from having my very own little Instagram page has been incredible and even supported me in landing certain job roles.
Now, I’m not saying everyone should start an Instagram, share photos of their skin and use it as a portfolio, but for me, it’s been a blessing in disguise. What started off as an area to share my woes, ask for advice and provides updates on my skin (scroll back and also you’ll see how I started) has changed into a creative outlet that lands a spot on my CV.
Despite having an Instagram centered around eczema advocacy, eczema doesn’t rule my life anymore, and I’m here to say it doesn’t must rule yours either (even when it’s still present in your skin). It’s simply one aspect of my life, flared up or not – and I’m okay with that.
Now, I don’t need to downplay how difficult a journey of acceptance is; it’s so normal to resent your condition and feel like there’s no way out. But what’s the worst that may occur in case you decide to embrace your skin? Life might feel somewhat lighter than it once was. We’re warriors, and we should feel content and comfy in our own skin in any case.
How to just accept your condition?
It’s easier said than done, I understand. But I promise there are methods to search out peace along with your skin condition.
Educate yourself on your skin condition. Knowledge is power and while you learn things about yourself that you just didn’t know before, you’re sure to feel more empowered and on top of things. We’re all different and what works for some may not be just right for you, so being intune with yourself is so essential.
Focus on what you’ll be able to control. Quite a lot of the time, it’s out of your control whether you flare or not so specializing in the “uncontrollables” will get you nowhere. Can you add a step into your self-care rituals? Do you must say no to an event? Is there a way you’ll be able to support yourself on this current moment?
Embrace your uniqueness. Embracing the fight you’re having to cope with is inspiring and when other people see your confidence, they’ll do the identical.
Talk to others who understand. Shared experience (whilst being careful to not form trauma bonds) very much has a time and place when going through something like eczema. Being surrounded by people (or someone who understands) helps you are feeling heard and validates your feelings.
Like I said at first, there isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach and everybody’s journey is different. But ultimately while you’re ready, the journey is gorgeous and eye-opening. One I hope everyone will experience sooner or later.
