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Rejoice ‘A Madea Family Funeral’ Movie Reunion With the 20 Funniest Quotes From the Comedy

Ever since Tyler Perry graced the screen because the stubborn, quick-tongued, unabashed matriarch Mabel Earlene Simmons — more affectionately often known as “Madea” — in 2005’s Diary of a Mad Black Woman, now we have been laughing and crying alongside her. The character could also be a fan of tough love — whacking people over the pinnacle after they challenge her — but she shows up for many who matter. Her sassy retorts and confrontational disposition are merely her surface-level qualities; beneath all of the layers of crotchety impatience lies an enviable maternal instinct, an empowering sense of self, and strength within the face of adversity. 

Five years ago, on March 1, 2019, A Madea Family Funeral premiered. What was purported to be a joyous family reunion in small-town Georgia seems to be an elaborate sham — Madea and the gang find themselves attending an elaborate funeral that doesn’t go to plan. While attempting to quote the bible during a time of sadness, Madea’s wisdom takes a left turn to the three little pigs and the massive bad wolf…a lot for Church every Sunday. To remember this film, one which was panned by critics (as is usually the case), let’s look back on a few of the funniest quotes from the movie. 

“I’m Madea. M to the A to the ‘rattling right’… ’cause I’m right, and also you’re fallacious, so kiss my ass.”

“You mess with me, I’ll whoop your ass so bad, your clothes will come back in style.”

“Oh, I don’t wanna hear no more ‘Amens.’ I’m drained. I’m gonna say ‘amen’ yet another time, I’m gonna be within the casket with you.”

“You gonna get your butt whooped and be baptized all in the identical day. Won’t he do it? He will!”

“Oh, Lord, why am I still talking? The more I talk, the more I’m finna curse.”

“If you’ve got an issue with me, you higher bring a snack, ’cause it’s gonna be a protracted time before you see me again.”

“I’m Madea, the judge, the jury, and the executioner. That’s a lethal combination, ain’t it?”

“I’m only a jacked-up mess, a Cadillac with a flat tire.”

“I don’t have a whole lot of years left, so I’m gonna get real comfortable with saying ‘no’.”

“Oh, Lord, that’s gonna be a giant funeral. That’s a whole lot of meals to make.”

“I just had a sudden vision of a chicken trying to select up a biscuit.”

“She don’t know her name half the time. Half the time, she don’t know mine.”

“This just isn’t a conversation; it’s a monologue.”

“I’m getting too old for this. I ain’t got time to be playing ‘I Spy’ with the Grim Reaper.”

“You can’t ride two horses with one behind. And if you happen to can, you wish a wider saddle.”

“Don’t mess with me. I’m attempting to keep Jesus on the mainline and the devil on the sideline.”

“I’m Madea. I ain’t attempting to win no popularity contest. I’m attempting to win an afterlife contest. And I’ll, too.”

“I ain’t got no patience for this. My tolerance done packed up and moved away.”

“I’m so mad, I could dropkick a rainbow.”

“The bible say: ‘yeah though she walked within the valley with the shadow of… Red Riding Hood and the three bears, she feared no evil cause the three little pigs was not around.” 

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