An annual viewing of Hocus Pocus was a Halloween staple for many of us. Whether we were watching it as reruns within the ’90s or our parents were insisting their childhood favorite was retro gold, our hearts were in Salem for the vacation. As you jammed out to “I’ll Put a Spell on You,” you likely had a minimum of one Hocus Pocus crush as a child. But did your crush make sense, or was it actually weird as hell? Today, we’re rating Hocus Pocus crushes from normal to totally unhinged. Where do you fall on the spectrum?
Max
Max Dennison, the child who lit the black flame candle because he was too cool for local traditions. Although looking back he was mostly annoying and thoroughly uncool, he was clearly the character Disney wanted us to have a crush on. The too-cool attitude? The drumming? The love for Allison? If he made you swoon, you’re somewhat basic, but that’s okay.
Allison
The object of Max’s affection. I feel we will all agree that she was somewhat out of his league. She was sweet, she loved local witchy history, and he or she lived in a large house with parents who handed out piles of full-sized candy bars. Allison was pretty and had all of it. If you had a crush on Allison, you’re boring but correct.
Jay and/or Ice
The bad boys of Salem, they hand around in graveyards, bully kids, and steal candy from children. Whether it was Jay’s go-getter attitude or Ice’s unmatched style, when you had a crush on these brats then you definately’re probably still stuck in your bad boy phase.
Thackery Binx
Nothing hits quite like a ghostly Thackery Binx kissing Dani on the cheek before joining his sister in heaven to begin a protracted lifetime of pining for the guy who’s completely untouchable. This could be higher on the list purely for the way absolutely correct this crush is, if it weren’t for the proven fact that he’s a literal colonial ghost.
Sarah Sanderson
Sarah is the recent Sanderson sister, and for good reason. The hair, the makeup, the busty outfit. And singing “Come Little Children” in her beautiful breathy voice? Of course you had a crush on her. You’re the kind to go after a girl knowing full well that she’s nothing but trouble, which is high-quality with you.
Winifred Sanderson
If you had a crush on Winifred, you most likely have a thing for cougars to at the present time. Winnie’s sole focus is to suck the souls out of youngsters, so perhaps she has priorities that don’t really mesh with yours. But you may’t deny that she has great hair and a killer voice.
Mary Sanderson
She wasn’t played to be crushed-on, yet here you might be, wishing you may be with Mary. It is smart! She’s the neatest of the sisters and isn’t afraid to be herself. Then again, she’s also great at sniffing out children, which is type of a weird skill to have in a partner.
Max’s mom in her Madonna costume
She was only a typical mom until she put the cone bra and high Ariana-esque ponytail on, then wowzers. Still, she’s a mom through and thru even dressed as Madonna, so there’s something in here that Freud might need a field day with.
The Handsy Bus Driver
Clearly the bus driver has no sense in terms of beautiful women. The Sanderson sisters are a bunch of weirdos, yet he’s greater than completely happy to flirt with all three of them. If you were crushing on him, you fall for anyone who gives you the tiniest little bit of attention. We’ve all been there, babe.
Binx the Cat
There are two kinds of people: The ones who liked human Thackery and those who had a crush on him as a cat. If you’re the latter, you’d probably still agree that crushing on Binx the cat is much down on the bonkers side of this list. It’s a cat! Though, if we’re being honest with ourselves, he had the personality to back it up.
Billy Butcherson
He’s a zombie. Like a literal, dusty zombie together with his mouth sewn shut. And yet…there’s something so nice about him. And he finally ends up joining the youngsters to fight the Sanderson sisters! Nothing like a pleasant zombie to offer you confusing crush feelings. Yes that is one in every of my very own biggest Hocus Pocus crushes. Is it weird, though? Yes, obviously.
