The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene is some of the famous books of all time. But what would similar laws appear like within the hands of narcissists and what sorts of laws do narcissists operate on? Here are the 12 laws of power based on narcissistic traits and behaviors. Note that this text will make it easier to discover manipulation tactics narcissists use and is not meant for use to govern others.
Law #1: Do as I say, not as I do.
The narcissist doesn’t criticize you because they exercise lofty moral standards themselves; they accomplish that to maintain you under their control, walking on eggshells, and mired in self-doubt in order that they don’t lose you to a greater partner or a greater life away from them. That is why they are going to display astounding hypocrisy once they let you know what to do – while engaging in opposite behaviors themselves.
Law #2: Whoever cares least is essentially the most powerful. Distance yourself and retreat shortly after love bombing.
The narcissist acts on the morally warped principle that the more interest you show in an individual, the less they are going to desire you. That is why they fight to weaponize their absence, silent treatments, and stonewalling to maintain their partners “in line” and at all times obedient to them.
Law #3: Never tell the entire truth, let others let you know theirs to discover potential vulnerabilities to use. Then, use their oversharing against them.
The narcissist fabricates stories of their past to make themselves appear like the victim. They hide their true intentions for pursuing you to match and mirror what they think you would like – your dreams, goals, desires, and even personality to sway you into falling in love with them. These lies distort reality and the character of their true character, allowing you to grow to be infatuated with their mask and hooked on them. However, as they conceal the reality, they persuade you to reveal personal traumas, insecurities, and fears that they are going to later use against you in the connection.
Law #4: Break-ups are a display of power, not everlasting. You should be a presence in someone’s life whatever the status of the connection.
Narcissistic and psychopathic partners wield power through “orchestrated break-ups.” This is how they ensure they keep you fixated on them and the connection. Such break-ups are manufactured not since the narcissist authentically desires to detach from you but relatively as a twisted display of power, as they at all times come crawling back to ensnare you into the toxic cycle over again. Research indicates that psychopaths and narcissists are likely to stay connected to their exes to keep up access to resources and sex, in spite of everything. Through these staged break-ups, they essentially say, “I’m the one on top of things here. I’m the one who gets to go away. You should do every part possible to win me back.” If met with this manipulation tactic, ensure you do every part possible to detach and leave relatively than undergo the abuse cycle over again with them.
Law #5: Wear a mask for nonetheless long it takes to get someone invested. Once they’re, remove the mask. By that point, they’re too invested to flee.
The narcissist and psychopath use superficial, glib charm to maintain their victims hooked on their façade. Watch out for the minor discrepancies and micro-betrayals that appear to contradict this mask. Their long-term behaviors will let you know every part you should know.
Law #6: Boundaries are only lines waiting to be crossed. Always test them, often and with escalation.
Manipulators incorporate covert insults under the guise of “sarcasm” and “just jokes.” They poke and prod at you and your insecurities, even manufacturing flaws that never existed with comments designed to destabilize you and solid doubt in your talents, positive qualities, and talents.
Law #7: Always play the victim when held accountable. Feign trauma as an excuse, even when it is just not present or when it is just not a motivator to your actions. Conceal your malice with pity ploys.
Narcissists and psychopaths may tell stories of a childhood they never experienced early on in the connection (some even go up to now as to “steal” the childhood stories of others to make themselves seem more victimized) or pretend they were cheated on even in the event that they were those doing the cheating. Watch out for forced premature intimacy and disclosure early on in dating – if someone is dumping their trauma on you without attending to know you organically first, it’s a red flag, even in the event that they’re not a narcissist. It may mean they’re not emotionally ready for a healthy relationship.
Law #8: Get them enthusiastic about a future that will never pan out, so you’ll be able to get what you would like from them in the current moment.
Narcissists use future-faking to make you suspect that they’re all for a long-lasting healthy relationship simply to get whatever they need from you – labor, resources, sex, praise, attention. Once they’ve depleted you of your energy and time, they move on to other sources of narcissistic supply – other victims they will drain.
Law #9: Leave a brutal impact in order that they at all times remember you, even in the event that they didn’t desire you at first.
Inflicting trauma is certainly one of the narcissist’s few natural talents (the others, they only steal and pretend from meeting actually talented people). They know that the larger the trauma, the more memorable and significant they’re to you and your life. It’s not your hatred they fear – it’s their insignificance. Once they lose control over you, they lash out to attempt to regain that significance simply to re-traumatize you all once more.
Law #10: Competition makes you seem more desirable. Lure your targets in by mentioning other love interests or past partners often to maintain them alert and focused on you, and never the manipulation.
Robert Greene actually mentions this in his book The Art of Seduction. Researchers call it jealousy induction and confirms that narcissists deliberately provoke jealousy on purpose to keep up power and control and to check the connection. For years before studies got here out on this phenomenon, it was often known as romantic “triangulation.” Narcissists and psychopaths know that jealousy could be a primal response to the potential for losing their partner to another person, even if you happen to’re not necessarily that all for the narcissist. Once such an “aura of desirability” as Robert Greene calls it’s established by the manipulator, you might be mobilized to compete for and vie for his or her attention – unless you select to not play the love triangle game in any respect and leave as an alternative.
Law #11: Hot and cold is healthier than consistency. Keep them working for approval once the honeymoon stage has passed.
Research reveals that it’s not consistently warm behavior from a partner that gets us “most” hooked on them; it’s actually intermittent reinforcement of positive treatment mixed with mistreatment and devaluation. That is what gets dopamine flowing most readily within the brain and creates such a powerful trauma bond and attachment to the narcissist. Remember: if someone is playing cold and hot with you, it’s time to go cold for good.
Law #12: Master the art of indifference even to belongings you care about; true narcissists will do that by default.
Even when the narcissist does care, they are going to pretend to not in an effort to deliberately provoke you. They will ignore you after a break-up while posting shady references to you or your relationship on social media; they might flaunt a 3rd party to attempt to make you compete for them even when you might have no interest; they may suddenly contact you once they see you’re moving forward with another person, only to neglect you over again. These are only power ploys to ensure they’re those who’re affecting your life. Become indifferent to the narcissist and begin investing in yourself.
