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Is Marriage Meant to Be Hard Work?

“Marriage is figure”! Does that statement ring a bell with you? Do you are feeling as if you happen to breezed through dating and courtship only to hit a bump within the road in marriage? If you do, you will not be alone. Many couples opine that there is a stark difference between marriage and dating. In marriage, they realize that they should exert mental and physical effort to maintain the wheels of their marriage turning. What got here so easily and naturally during dating seems to have morphed into work. Hard work. What exactly modified? Did God design marriage as exertions?

My best friend in highschool and I had vowed to be best friends endlessly. We each couldn’t envision life without one another. We vowed to be in contact and climb mountains if mandatory just to maintain our friendship ablaze. Needless to say, we lost touch once we joined different colleges and only reconnected through Facebook eons later. Left unattended, our friendship wilted faster than let’s imagine “best friend.” There’s not a single relationship on the face of the earth that may thrive without the input of the parties involved. Constant communication, physical meetings, and support during tough times are among the demands of friendships.

Couples feel as in the event that they glided through courtship and dating because the connection was mainly fueled by romantic love. This made relating along with your partner feel effortless. But let’s be honest: romantic love grinds to a halt in some unspecified time in the future. Your heart eventually stops racing, and also you stop getting breathless when your macho man or damsel walks into the room. As such, your spouse won’t routinely feel loved and appreciated until they see your loving gestures. Your relationship isn’t any longer driven by romantic love but by intentional love, aka work.

So yes, as a husband, you will have to take heed to your wife’s winding tales, show her affection, and date her recurrently. As a wife, you will have to prioritize sexual intimacy, respect his decisions, and compliment him. You might want to do things that do not come naturally to you simply to enthuse your partner. You might want to put in some work because marriage is indeed work.

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2. It’s Part of Your Christian Walk

We don’t merely glide through our walk with Christ. Although salvation is a free gift of God, we must do our part to take care of our fellowship with God. Paul urged the Phillipian church to work out their salvation with fear and trembling (Philippians 2: 12). Peter also asked the church to be diligent to make their call and election sure (2 Peter 1:10). Although Christ finished His redemptive work on the cross, we now have to remain connected to Him through prayer, reading His word and fellowship with other believers. He asks us to attract near to Him so He can draw near us. In other words, He asks us to place within the work.

Part of this work for married couples will include tending your relationship along with your spouse. Your life as a married person shouldn’t be compartmentalized. Everything you do, whether you eat or drink, should bring glory to God (1 Corinthians 10:31). Jesus taught that the best commandment is to like God with all of your heart, soul, and with all of your mind, and the second is to like your neighbor as yourself. Your spouse is your “nearest” neighbor, and God commands that you simply love them as yourself. To accomplish that, you will certainly must put in a whole lot of work.

3. God Has Set a High Standard for Marriage

God has a template for a way couples should conduct their marriages. He uses the connection between Christ and the church because the template. Wives are to undergo their husbands as unto the Lord, and husbands are to like their wives as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:22-28). Quite frankly, living out this template in marriage isn’t any mean feat. As a wife, it’s possible you’ll wonder why you should undergo a flawed human being. As a husband, it’s possible you’ll not feel like your wife deserves the form of sacrificial love Paul talks about. Living consistent with this template requires you to disclaim yourself and die to your flesh. And that is work. Hard work.

4. Every Gift Has Responsibilities

Couple on couch family conflict discussion arguing

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Paul wished that every one men were like himself – single. He, nevertheless, acknowledged that all and sundry had his gift. He had the gift of singlehood, while others had the gift of marriage. He advised those that couldn’t exercise self-control to go ahead and marry(1 Corinthians 7:7-9). 

“But I need you to be without care. He who’s single cares for the things of the Lord -how he may please the Lord. But he who’s married cares in regards to the things of the world-how he may please his wife.” (1 Corinthians 7:32-33).

In the passage above, Paul doesn’t mince his words. He wishes everyone was without care like him. Here, he’s referring to the responsibility that comes with being either a wife or husband. Paul, being single, cared only about pleasing the Lord. But for his married counterparts? They didn’t have the luxurious of being “carefree.” They needed to take into consideration the way to please their spouses.

Paul’s message here is that selecting to get married is consciously taking up more responsibilities into your life. And to whom much is given, from him much will likely be required (Luke 12:48). If you’re married, roll up your sleeves and do the work that comes with the blessing you enjoy.

Older married couple happy on couch

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5. God Wants to Build Your Marriage

“Unless the Lord builds the home, they labor in vain who construct it; unless the Lord guards town, the watchman stays awake in vain.” (Psalm 127:1).

As we now have rightfully observed, marriage takes work from each spouses. However, all of your labor in marriage will likely be in vain without God. You and your spouse cannot have a thriving marriage without God at the middle. Millions of individuals across the globe have tried to construct great marriages on their very own, but their efforts have gone belly-up. We are to trust within the Lord with all our hearts and lean not on our own understanding. We are to acknowledge Him in all our ways, and He guarantees to make our paths straight (Proverbs 3:5-6). Your marriage can only be made straight once you acknowledge God in all of your dealings. Without Him, all of your labor in marriage will likely be in vain.

King Solomon observed that only by God’s wisdom can a house be built and understanding be established (Proverbs 24:3). God wants couples to construct their marriages only through the wisdom He provides through His Word. He wants couples to be just like the clever man who built his house on the rock. When the rain descended, the floods got here, and the winds blew and beat on the home; it didn’t fall, for it was founded on the rock (Mathew 7:24-25).

So yes, marriage takes work, but once we follow the wisdom in God’s Word, we construct formidable marriages that glorify God.

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Crosswalk Writer Keren KanyagoKeren Kanyago is a contract author and blogger at Parenting Spring. As a wife and mom, she uses her blog to weigh in on pertinent issues around parenting, marriage, and the Christian Faith. She holds a level in mass communication with a specialty in print media. Follow her on Facebook and Instagram and/or shoot her an email at kerenkanyago@gmail.com.

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