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Dorothy’s 8 Most Ruthless Lines in ‘The Golden Girls’ — The Savage Queen of Sarcasm

Nothing beats a comeback from Zbornak.

Dorothy Zbornak was The Golden Girls’ whip-smart, one-liner queen. She was savage in her takedowns and ruthless in her comebacks. Whether insulting Rose’s intelligence or poking fun at Blanche’s busy boudoir, Bea Arthur knew the right way to deliver a zinger with a deadpan expression and effortless comedic timing. She made us laugh until we cried, and listed here are a few of her most memorable quips. 

“I higher not say anything ‘til I’ve had my coffee…a slut and a moron. I’m sorry it should be decaf.”

Dorothy awakes one morning in her usual mood — an ideal amalgamation of cynicism, impatience, and sarcasm — and enters the kitchen able to take her frustrations out on Rose and Blanche. She notes that her life can be different if she had the financial means to live alone. But, as a substitute, she’s forced to address two roommates who possess, well, strong personalities. 

She hesitates before flinging a concise and biting insult to take a sip of her coffee and ponder her phrasing. Ultimately, she rakes them through the coals after a fleeting moment of consideration. It’s typical Dorothy. No shame. No regret. She says it prefer it is. Though these two adjectives are harsh, the show is a testament to their accuracy (not that we support the slut-shaming). And the little “I’m sorry it should be decaf” line — which she utters barely muted with an air of dismissal and nonchalance —  is the scrumptious icing on the cake, or should we are saying the graham cracker crust on the cheesecake?

“In what Blanche — dog years?”

When Blanche notes that she can be occurring a date with a person who is almost five years younger, Dorothy asks this, for five years is a little bit of an understatement. There’s likely over a decade between Blanche and this week’s man of interest. 

Blanche has all the time lied about her age, yet Dorothy doesn’t let her get away with such delusions. Blanche can delude herself, but Dorothy won’t allow this fellow Golden gal to think for a second that she believes such blatant cockamamy. 

“Not even in case you were hanging the wrong way up on a trapeze.”

When Blanche notes that she has been in comparison with Charlie’s Angels star Cheryl Ladd, she goes on to clarify that, though they could bear a striking resemblance, she has perkier bosoms. This zinger slips from Dorothy’s tongue with fervor, as she lingers on the p in trapeze to let it pop with intensity. She delivers the road with a side-eye as she looks down at Blanche with a little bit of furrowed brow.  

“Better than anyone I do know.”

This could also be one in all Dorothy’s most famous responses in The Golden Girls. Rose asks her if she will ask a dumb query — a commonly uttered rhetorical phrase before asking something others may deem silly. Yet, slightly than handling it as rhetorical, Dorothy Zbornak (an English teacher lest you forget) answers the “can” aspect, noting that Rose sure can…and she or he’s quite excellent at it. Dorothy pokes fun at Rose’s intelligence throughout The Golden Girls, but this stays one in all the funniest remarks for its sheer unpredictability, as we didn’t exactly expect Dorothy to chime in before Rose began to ask her “dumb” query. 

“We have Maalox and Estrogen.”

After they’ve been robbed, Rose notes that the perps can have been in search of drugs, to which Dorothy utters this quick reply. The only drugs in the home are for hormone control and acid reflux disease. Who robs 4 old women in search of drugs? It’s such an idiotic statement that only a Dorothy quip could rebuke.

“Spare me the limitless inane details of how Heidi Flugen Doogle Gergen Plots successfully matched a bull with a duck.”

When Rose begins to recount a St. Olaf story a couple of matchmaker, Dorothy cuts her off before she travels down a neverending, winding narrative road with little-to-no take-away worthy of merit. 

Dorothy just doesn’t have the patience in the intervening time. Rose is commonly flinging around weird names and nonsense words with “ugen” and “ergen” in them, so this merely shows what number of stories Dorothy has listened to — she has endured so many ridiculous tales she will fabricate her own Rose-ified story. 

“No, Blanche, with a Venus Fly Trap.”

Blanche is all the time surprised when Dorothy has a date — as if she’s some type of monster with a hunchback incapable of landing a person for an evening out. Thus, when Dorothy says she has a date, and Blanche asks “With a person?,” she hurls this insult with viciousness. It’s a testament to her festering aggravation with the sexless persona Blanche has assigned to her. And, her quick tongue has all the time been how she asserts her superiority. 

“And I’m the Pygmy Queen”

Rose comes storming into the room proclaiming “I’m the neatest woman in the entire world,” and Dorothy says this as a mixture of shock and (dare we are saying) disgust crawl across her face. The sheer impossibility of Rose’s statement can only be met with an equally inconceivable declaration, and Dorothy pulls this out from up her sleeve as if it’s been sitting there for seasons. 

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