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MMA champs offer to coach Elon Musk for cage match — because they hate Mark Zuckerberg

A who’s-who of MMA fighters have a beef with Mark Zuckerberg — in order that they’re throwing their weight behind Elon Musk ahead of a possible cage match between the tech titans. 

At least eight UFC fighters, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu champions, and more, led by former MMA champ Chad Robichaux are offering to coach Musk for the proposed cage fight with Meta CEO Zuckerberg over his launch of micro-blogging rival Threads.

For a few of them, that is about payback.

“No one likes Zuckerberg because he’s a communist that’s suppressing our speech, and ruining most of our businesses,” Robichaux told The Post. “We feel like he needs his a– beat.”

“I’ve been a victim of getting my First Amendment rights violated by Zuckerberg,” Robichaux, who runs the Mighty Oaks Foundation, a veterans group, explained. “Every every Monday I actually have to have a staff meeting and we now have to work out what we are able to and may’t say so we don’t get suppressed.”

The martial-arts masters see 52-year-old Musk as their likelihood for revenge — at the same time as Musk and Zuck have recently jabs on social media over a possible cage match. Most recently, Musk claimed on his social network X — formerly generally known as Twitter — that he planned to drive by Zuckerberg’s house to see if he “actually answers the door.”

Chad Robichaux
Chad Robichaux is credited with leading the most important known civilian evacuation effort out of Afghanistan within the aftermath of the Taliban takeover.
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Alex Morono
Alex Morono punches Tim Means of their welterweight fight throughout the UFC Fight Night event at Spectrum Center on May 13, 2023.
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“Mark is traveling at once and isn’t in Palo Alto,” a spokesperson for Zuckerberg responded. “Also, Mark takes this sport seriously and isn’t going to fight someone who randomly shows up at his house.”

The trash-talking comes at the same time as Zuckerberg last month launched Threads, a challenger to X, which quickly amassed 100 million sign-ups — greater than 1 / 4 of X’s energetic user base. Activity on Threads — which Meta executives said is “specializing in kindness and making this a friendly place” — appears to have fallen sharply since, in response to research reports.

As for the literal cage match, “I might like to see Elon win, that’d be an amazing win for mankind in my view,” BJJ champion Thomas Cronin told The Post, noting his philosophical alignment with the space and electric-car guru. 

Nate Marquardt
Nate Marquardt throughout the UFC Fight Night event on Nov. 11, 2017.
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Other eight champions currently on board include: UFC fighter Jalin Turner, former UFC Light Heavyweight Champion Quinton Jackson, Strikeforce Champion and UFC title contender Nate Marquardt, current UFC contender Alex Morono, seasoned Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu instructor Vinicius Draculino Magalhaes, and Carlson Gracie Jr., whose father Carlos Gracie is taken into account certainly one of the founders of Brazilian Jiu-Jistu.

“I actually have to side with Elon Musk … [because] of free speech. Zuckerberg is type of taking away free speech on his platforms,” Jackson said. “Musk is more of a arise guy.”

Not much is understood about Musk’s master technique to avert total annihilation from Zuckerberg. In June, he quipped on X that certainly one of his moves known as “’The Walrus,’ where I just lie on top of my opponent and do nothing.” 

Elon Musk
Elon Musk, meanwhile has boasted about eating donuts for breakfast.

“I mean, with the dimensions difference he probably could do it for a bit,” Turner, a top 15 UFC lightweight contender, laughed. 

“I feel Elon Musk has a superb humorousness,” Jackson mused when asked about “The Walrus.”

Robichaux observed that “The Walrus” sounds quite a bit like a “Wet Blanket” technique he deploys via Jiu-Jitsu to wear down his enemies to the purpose of exhaustion and frustration in order that they start making mistakes.

Vinny Magalhaes
Vinny Magalhaes poses for a portrait on April 24, 2013.
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“It’s good. He’s an even bigger guy,” Robichaux quipped. “He [could] use his body weight to love fatigue Zuckerberg — to make him work to always rise up.”

Still, the jostling maestros think they will do significantly better.

Cronin, a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu coach who has trained a myriad of UFC fighters, has been studying up on Zuckerberg and is already spotting some vulnerabilities ripe for exploitation.

Mark Zuckerberg
Mark Zuckerberg has showcased his fighting dominance in various social media posts.
Instagram/Mark Zuckerberg

“There’s a few things that I see in Zuckerberg’s training that they’re probably not addressing, so far as I can tell. And we would like to capitalize on those positions,” Cronin said.

Cronin believes he knows “exactly how” Zuckerberg goes to come back out and knows just how Musk can “throw a wrench in his plans.” He is keeping specifics near the vest.

Jackson contended that Musk can be in jeopardy if he winds up in a ground tussle, given Zuckerberg’s considerable Jiu-Jitsu edge.

“If I used to be Elon Musk, I wouldn’t take him to the bottom for one second,” Jackson said emphasizing he’d try his best to maintain it standing.

Gracie Jr., a six-time Brazilian National Champion in Freestyle and Greco Roman wrestling also generally known as “The Prince of BJJ,” cautioned against “overtraining’ Musk into exhaustion.

“We’d should work in some type of basic fundamental techniques, and first, you will have to judge his level and from there we are able to work on [him],” Gracie Jr. told The Post.

Mark Zuckerberg
Mark Zuckerberg claims he will not be holding breath that Elon Musk will actually fight him.
AFP via Getty Images

Questions have swirled over whether the fight will ever come to fruition. Zuckerberg has sewed doubts, claiming that Musk is “not serious” and that “it’s time to maneuver on.”

Musk, who previously challenged Russian President Vladimir Putin to single combat in a Hail Mary bid to rescue Ukraine from devastation, claimed that Italian officials agreed to an “epic location” for the web kingpin rumble.

However, Italian culture minister Gennaro Sangiuliano appeared to quash speculation of a much-rumored “Gladiator”-style showdown at the traditional Colosseum, stipulating “it is going to not be held in Rome.”

Mark Zuckerberg
Mark Zuckerberg has been taking his Jiu-Jitsu very, very seriously.
Mark Zuckerberg

Zuckerberg has urged fans to “assume anything [Musk] says has not been agreed on.”

Musk has also claimed that he needed an “MRI of my neck & upper back” and “may require surgery before the fight can occur.”

Should Musk begin training, one adjustment the martial arts battalion would likely gently nudge him into making is his eating regimen.

Carlson Gracie Jr.
Carlson Gracie Jr. is essentially Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu family royalty.

Musk, who posits there’s a high probability we’re living in a simulation, has raved about soul-enriching junk food, claiming (possibly joking) to eat a donut every morning. 

Zuckerberg, who’s in search of to accumulate a simulation of his own for humans to traverse, says he eats 4,000 calories a day to fuel his intense exercise regimen, often including hefty McDonalds’ orders, which he dubbed “so delicious.”

“[Musk] probably needs like a superb 30 days on a superb healthy eating regimen regimen to cleanse his system and have the energy,” Robichaux said, “simply to get his system functioning well and have his body fueled up.”

Another potential hurdle for Musk is the roughly 13-year age gap with Zuckerberg. 

Robichaux, some 4 years younger than Musk, stressed that Musk can overcome it, noting how he eats younger fighters for breakfast. 

“I’m 48. I smash 18 and 20 yr old kids within the gym on daily basis,” Robichaux joked in a dead serious way. “There’s something about this generation.”

Another option is rejuvenating stem cell therapy.

Eric Scoffers, CEO of Bioexcellorator, a firm that focuses on the treatment, told The Post “we are going to roll out the red carpet for Elon to be certain that he’s in the most effective shape to beat Zuckerberg.” 

“Bioexcellorator is the exclusive stem cell treatment center for the UFC,” he added. “They’re treating current UFC champions. The treatment they provide will close the age gap between Musk and Zuckerberg.”

Elon Musk
Elon Musk is about 13 years older than Mark Zuckerberg, but is bullish about his abilities to place the younger billionaire in his place.

The squadron of fighters have various visions for what a boot camp would appear like, but are flexible to Musk’s liking.

At least certainly one of the martial artists is stunned that the plutocrats need to subject themselves to such violent brutality fairly than live out a cushy lifestyle.

“I used to be really surprised that two billionaires need to duke it out within the cage. I’ve been a fighter for over 20-something years. If I used to be a billionaire, I might not step foot in a cage — no way,” Jackson said.

Mark Zuckerberg
The Meta honcho doesn’t seem very intimidated by Elon Musk.
Instagram/Mark Zuckerberg

“I began it as a technique to provide for my family — to me it was a hustle,” he added. “I did it to pay the bills.”

Musk has previously suggested that the billionaire melee will raise money for veterans and pediatric hospitals in Italy. Robichaux’s squad is hoping they may consider donating a few of those funds to The Mighty Oaks Foundation.

The group works to tackle post-traumatic stress disorder and forestall veteran suicide.

Chad Robichaux
Chad Robichaux went into Afghanistan throughout the Taliban takeover to rescue his translator.
Marine Corps Installations West

Robichaux is credited with spearheading certainly one of the most important known civilian evacuation efforts out of Afghanistan within the aftermath of the Taliban takeover.

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