The Bible is filled with stories and wisdom to guide our lives. But some parts of the Bible are confusing and if we do not understand the context, they’re relevant. Do I actually hate my family? That being said, Jesus clearly told us that we must hate not only our moms and dads, but our entire family and ourselves. IN Luke 14:26He says, “If anyone involves Me and doesn’t hate father and mother, wife and youngsters, brothers and sisters – yes, even his own life – he can’t be My disciple.” It seems awfully harsh and even makes me query Jesus. Why would the very embodiment of Love make us hate so many individuals? Does he really think so?
We must realize that Jesus sometimes spoke in hyperbole, which was exaggerated statements to not be taken literally. You and I often speak in hyperbole. My children who don’t need to wear coats scream: I’m freezing! When it’s meal time, I say, “I’m ravenous!” When my husband comes home from a tough day at work, he says, “I had the worst day.” These are all exaggerations that show what we mean without being absolute facts.
Jesus sometimes spoke in hyperbole in his parables. IN Matthew 5:29-30Jesus says, “If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and throw it away. It is healthier so that you can lose one a part of your body than to your whole body to be thrown into hell. And in case your right hand causes you to fall, cut it off and throw it away. It is healthier so that you can lose one a part of your body than to your whole body to go to hell.” Soon after, he commands us: “Be perfect…as your heavenly Father is ideal” (Matthew 5:48). Later, he tells his followers, “It is less complicated for a camel to undergo the attention of a needle than for a wealthy man to enter the dominion of God” (Ps.Matthew 19:24). Jesus offended many individuals when he “said them: Verily, verily, I say unto you, unless ye eat the flesh of the Son of man, and drink his blood, ye haven’t any life in you” (John 6:53).
These are all examples of how Jesus uses hyperbole to emphasise his point. While to not be taken literally, these statements are examples of the larger picture, the reality that Jesus all the time points out to us – that He is healthier than anything we will imagine, and the sacrifices we must make on this short life are nothing in comparison with with the fantastic thing about everlasting life with Him. Jesus’ hyperbole reminds us that it’s unattainable to earn salvation and that “by grace you’ve been saved, through faith… not by works” (Ephesians 2:8-9).
Love
Knowing that Jesus used hyperbole, how can we all know what he meant Luke 14:26? The best approach to interpret Scripture is the Scriptures. We compare the knowledge now we have with the overall theme of the Bible. If something contradicts the Bible, it just isn’t true. When we have a look at one verse, we do not get the entire picture. Yes, Luke 14:26 tells us to hate our mother and father, but when considering using hyperbole, we must compare this with the many verses that tell us to like others:
“Honour thy father and thy mother, that thy days could also be long within the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.” Exodus 20:12
“Whoever says he loves God and hates his brother or sister is a liar. For he who doesn’t love his brother and sister whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.” (1 John 4:20)
“Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:39)
“Let each of you respect your mother and father…” (Leviticus 19:3)
“Listen to your father who gave you life, and don’t despise your mother when she is old.” (Proverbs 23:22)
“Children, obey your parents in the whole lot, for this pleases the Lord.” (Colossians 3:20)
“But if the widow has children or grandchildren, allow them to to begin with learn to practice their religion by caring for their family and thus repay their parents and grandparents for being pleasing to God.” (1 Timothy 5:4)
“Anyone who curses father or mother is to be put to death.” (Exodus 21:17)
Given all these verses and plenty of more within the Bible that discuss loving others and ourselves, it’s clear that God puts love first and desires us to honor our parents. (Of course, this doesn’t mean exposing yourself to abuse. If you’ve a difficult or dangerous relationship with a member of the family, you may love them from a distance through prayer to make sure your safety.) So why did Jesus tell us to hate?
What does it mean?
When Jesus tells us to hate our moms and dads, he’s using hyperbole to handle the larger issue. One of the Ten Commandments is: “Thou shalt haven’t any other gods before me” (cf.Exodus 20:3). When God says “No”, He means it. Even our mother and father won’t be gods before Him. We shouldn’t consider ourselves a god before Him. Jesus doesn’t want us to hate our family; He clearly wants us to handle them. But he absolutely He doesn’t want us to worship anyone above Him.
The Bible speaks of physical idols created by humans, but an idol will be anything that we worship or value above God. When we admire something greater than God, now we have created an idol. By respecting and loving others, we must make sure that they don’t stand before God. If what my mother thinks of me is more essential than what God thinks of me, then I made her an idol. If spending time with my dad is more essential to me than spending time with the Lord, then I made my dad an idol.
When Jesus was asked to call the best commandment, he replied, “You shall love the Lord your God with all of your heart, with all of your soul, and with all of your mind” (Matthew 22:37). When he said we should always hate our mother and father, he was referring to our love for him. No one, not our selfish desires, not even our parents, should stand in the way in which of our love for the Lord. To be His disciples, we have to be willing to set boundaries with others and all the time put the Lord first.
How can we look after our families and still put the Lord first? With all of your love and repair, which is “whatever you do, work at it with all of your heart as for those who were working for the Lord” (Colossians 3:23). When you first seek the Lord, the Holy Spirit works to make it easier to “flee from idolatry” (1 Corinthians 10:14). It could appear unattainable, “but not with God; all things are possible with God” (Mark 10:27). Continue to respect your parents, handle your loved ones, be good to your siblings, and love yourself. But let nobody come before the Lord your God.
Image credit: ©Getty Images/Aaron Amat
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