A letter from a concerned friend

However, I’m asking you to stop seeing my anxiety as a flaw. I’m not broken. I’m not broken. I’m not fragile. I appreciate your attempts to guard me and help me, but I’m stronger than you think that. You see, on daily basis from dusk to dawn, my brain is in a fight or flight state. At any given moment, I can present five different scenarios of how things could go drastically incorrect. It takes a powerful person to continually inhabit this type of space and thoughts.

There are days once I ask you to be gentle and patient with me. I don’t claim to have perfect strength and endurance; I’m only a human. But I’m asking you to indicate patience and understanding that you simply would have in a toddler learning the world around him and the way to take steps in it. We are gentle and patient with these precious people. But we do not assume they’re weak simply because they’re learning. We don’t comment on how we already amortize all their life experiences because we do not think they’ll have the option to get through difficult times without us. We speak to them with life. We encourage them to take their steps and fall, and we never see their learning experiences as flaws.

Sometimes it seems to me that fears and worries overwhelm me. They seem that way because that is the truth. Thoughts appear to cover the entire earth around me. But that doesn’t suggest I give in to them. Every day I lean a little bit more on Jesus. And then, like a human, I walk away, considering that I actually have regained control of this “worry”. And then the calm and loving arms of Jesus welcome me back as I find myself in tears on the lavatory floor.

I appreciate your willingness to assist and love me in difficult times. I want to be the identical support and support for you, friend. But sometimes all I want is someone to take heed to my fears and worries and sit down with me on the “what if”. I do not need you attempting to tell me all the pieces can be okay when it may not be. I just need you to softly support me in life’s battles without taking a look at me with pity.

And yes, I take medication within the morning to assist balance the chemicals in my brain that appear to work out of fear. But no, medicine shouldn’t be a central a part of who I’m. It’s just an aid to who I do know I’m presupposed to be. Please don’t assume that I’m prescribed by prescription. Taking a pill takes 5 seconds out of all 86,400 seconds of my day. While I haven’t any problem sharing my story, especially to assist others, I do not like using my dear friend Sertralina as a prop or an excuse. So I’m asking you to not treat it that way either.

I do know this may occasionally seem each confusing and redundant. You’re probably asking why I say I can overcome my fears and yet all the pieces is tremendous. I’m telling you to be gentle, but not too gentle. But consider Jesus and his disciple Thomas. When Jesus rose from the grave, Thomas was in disbelief. He claimed that he needed to see Jesus’ scars, and even touch them, to consider that the Savior had truly risen.

“Per week later, the disciples were gathered at home when Jesus appeared to them. He first offered them peace after which told Thomas to place his hands on His side. Then Jesus said, “Stop doubting and consider.”John 21:24-29).

Jesus never told Thomas that he was a lesser disciple because he had doubts. So please don’t tell me I’m a less faithful follower of Christ due to my doubts. Just as Jesus offered Thomas peace and luxury without looking down on him, I ask you to do the identical.

I’m not my anxiety. I’m myself, I actually have my very own thoughts, feelings and opinions. I do not revolve around my anxiety, although sometimes it seems to revolve around me. But please recognize the difference. I’m circling around Jesus; my fears surround me. The cool thing about this solar system is that as I circle Christ, I force my fears, doubts, and worries to do the identical. When I bow on the feet of Jesus, my restless thoughts haven’t any selection but to bow with me. Yes, I expect comfort from you, but not wholeness or repair. I already know the Ultimate Healer, and He shouldn’t be intimidated or afraid of my thoughts.

I also ask that you simply never feel like you may’t consult with me. Yes, I fight battles that I said you may not understand. But I do know you are fighting wars I’ll never fight. I can give you a singular perspective. Honestly, I’ve learned to take my anxious thoughts and switch them right into a type of defensive problem-solving tactic. So in case you need someone to walk you thru the probabilities and scenarios, I’m your girlfriend.

I’m writing all this within the hope that I won’t appear ungrateful. Your support in any form means the world to me. And you might be so brave that you are attempting to grasp the complications of my thoughts and navigate them. You’re so kind to sit down in them with me while I attempt to figure them out. For this reason, I never want you to think that I do not love and appreciate each you and your efforts.

I’m writing this as an alternative to say you haven’t got to tiptoe around me. You won’t break me in case you lean on me. In fact, you help me grow if you force me to work through my fears and “what ifs” as an alternative of protecting me from them.

My struggle is anxiety. And you help me fight. No matter what your battle is, I also plan to face beside you in battle.

So that is each a thanks letter and a discharge form. Thank you on your friendship and for just being you. And please let go of the responsibility of protecting me. I repeat, I won’t break and I’m not sick. You haven’t got to face guard. Give me space to be strong.

I really like you, dear friend, and I thank God on daily basis for you on this life.

Love,

Your restless friend

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