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How reframing rejection heals our hearts

Released. Omitted. To reject. These experiences take us away from life and deprive us of peace in our relationships. Cut words. Stocks break through. They steal our lives, but there’s hope. The peace of God can still reign within the midst of the battle raging in our hearts as we cling to God’s hand. It’s just like the story of a bit of boy holding a much bigger boy’s hand as they rushed all the way down to the basement within the face of a tornado. The wind lifted the little boy into the air, but he grabbed his cousin’s hand and ran to safety.

When rejection invades our lives, it’s like we’re racing a tornado to safety. The pain of neglect makes our hearts dizzy, and we will get caught up within the damage it causes. Our hearts are raging with anger and bitterness. We spend an excessive amount of time considering the conversation in our heads, analyzing what we said and what they said. Our heart turns against us and thoughts that indicate that we deserve what we have now because we usually are not sympathetic and shouldn’t expect every other consequence. Finally, we reproach God for not stopping it, and we demand that He do something.

When we are saying yes to a private relationship with God, He makes us recent. It’s beautiful and wonderful, but at the identical time, we still have old ways of pondering, habits and default reactions to the circumstances we encounter. Rejection deals a devastating blow, and in pain we turn to old ways of responding to heartache, which might result in much more damage to our relationships with God, ourselves, and others. Transformation takes time and a willingness to wade through the muddy waters of sifting old patterns out of a recent way of pondering.

In the mud
Rejection is a three-pronged weapon that hurts three areas of our lives: our relationships with others, how we see ourselves, and our understanding of God. In our pain, we will roll in mud, splashing it on others, or we will use it to create something. Like the potter who adds water to the clay to make the mud into something beautiful, we will trust God to show something bad into something good.

The Israelites spent centuries making mud bricks for the Egyptians. They had known the years of captivity and felt abandoned by God. Their place of salvation during Joseph’s leadership in Egypt became a spot of rejection. Joseph was second only to Pharaoh, and God provided a method to avoid famine by leading them to Egypt. But eventually the brand new pharaohs forgot about Joseph and saw the Israelites as a threat, so that they sought to enslave them. God didn’t abandon the Israelites and ready for them the method to freedom. Rejection could make us feel abandoned, but God guarantees that He won’t ever leave or forsake us. When we turn to God, we will count on him to pave the best way for us as well.

Reverse the script
Our default response to rejection is to deal with the external event, turn negative thoughts on ourselves, and at last point an accusing finger at God. A recent method to cope with neglect and rejection is to start out with God. Reframing rejection is about giving him all our pain and dropping every negative thought and emotion into his lap. We come to him unedited and honest. It then helps us sift through thoughts and feelings, redirecting us to let go of the things that need letting go. In this fashion, he uses them to bring us to a different level of spiritual maturity.

IN Psalm 62:8, the psalmist invites us to precise our hearts before God. “Trust him in any respect times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is our refuge.” Our pain can distract us from the very source of our comfort. When our hearts break, we could also be tempted to choose up the shards and carry them in our pockets where they proceed to chop us. But after we leave all of the pieces at Jesus’ feet, He starts putting them back together again. We are left with scars that tell the story of his gentle fidelity.

These scars are full of His grace. I broke an ornamental plate and as a substitute of throwing it away, I glued it back together. The plate returned to its round shape because the larger pieces joined together. The smaller pieces were a bit harder and messier, but this plate has develop into a logo of how God works in our lives. His grace fills the cracks and mercy glues the pieces back together. In experiences of rejection, our self-perception can collapse and our unforgiveness towards others can break us. However, after we start with God, we receive the grace and mercy to forgive and keep our identity intact in Christ.

Apprentice on the feet of Jesus
When Pharaoh finally ordered the Israelites to go, they left Egypt dressed as if for battle. They have finally been released! Imagine the bravado they felt once they took Egyptian gold and silver. Yet God knew them higher than they knew themselves. He didn’t make them freedom by the only route. They may be dressed for battle—with arms of their hands and armor—but they did not have the mindset of a warrior. God delivered them, but he led them to freedom through the wilderness.

In our spiritual journeys we also encounter desert roads and impassable seas. In our battles with consistent disregard and rejection, we can have all of the equipment needed to fight, similar to the Israelites, but not have the inner fortitude to face the battle. Internship on the feet of Jesus implies that we go into the desert trusting Him with all our heart, including our pain of past neglect and fear of future rejection – and we practice faith, hope, and faith in what He says about us, and we accept his consistent presence.

Crossing our Red Sea
Walking by faith begins with small steps towards God. We grow in our healing as we elect to let go of the bitterness of past rejection together with the untruths we have now believed for too long about God and the way we see ourselves. Reversing the scenario of our default reactions to rejection is step one we take. We can let rejection re-enslave us, or we will focus our attention on the liberty that lies ahead.

The Lord can use the experiences of rejection to renew, redirect, and refine us. Sometimes he uses them to direct our feet in a special direction. Even in pain, we will trust Him to steer us right into a recent future. Other times, rejection reveals areas of our lives that need improvement. Our transformation involves renewing our minds by rejecting thought processes and attitudes that usually are not according to God’s Word. Regeneration comes after we give up our broken hearts to Him. He reconnects us and fills us with more of his mercy and style.

The next time rejection destroys your life, stop before you respond. Take every broken piece to God, give Him ugly feelings and thoughts, and share your pain and confusion with Him. He will meet you within the mess and guide you to greater healing, trust and freedom inside him.

Image credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/interstid

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