There are many phrases utilized in our culture that we may not fully understand or that could be used as a broad label for individuals who either have certain character traits or behave in certain ways. We should be very careful how we use these phrases in order to not overuse them and mislabel someone.
One of those expressions refers to someone as being toxic.
What are the characteristics of a toxic person?
I’ve researched the behaviors that could be present in the day by day life of somebody who may be considered toxic, and while it isn’t exhaustive, I’ve compiled a brief list to read and remember:
– An individual can have a victim mentality and feel as in the event that they are all the time being mistreated or that they’re the one who’s all the time being hurt.
-They can live in gossip and slander, speak negatively about others, and infrequently spread lies and damage the status of others.
-It could also be a one that doesn’t know easy methods to treat others with love, or may even be abusive indirectly – emotionally or physically.
-There shall be a certain level of control over people of their lives, and it’s possible you’ll feel that you simply cannot make your personal decisions, think how you would like, or do what you would like.
– They are very manipulative people and can do anything to get you to do what they need.
-They shall be critical and negative towards others, unable to see anything positive in others or circumstances.
They wish to get their way and infrequently humiliate those around them to get what they need.
-They can relate with a number of sarcasm and usually are not sensitive or caring in regards to the feelings of others. If you bring this to their attention, they are going to make you’re feeling too sensitive.
-They can have an addictive personality, using a substance or bad habit to satisfy an unmet need. They may try to pull you into their addictions to make you’re feeling higher about what they’re doing.
When you are around someone who has all or a few of these traits, you are prone to come away stressed, anxious, and usually negative. There are many the reason why an individual may need these personality traits or behaviors, and these reasons are probably too many for us to delve into in this text. However, I might enterprise to say that these are individuals who struggle with their very own wounds, past traumas or stresses and are unable to process them properly. They probably don’t even realize how they behave towards others because they might even be in survival mode!
How to hope for a toxic person:
The first (and best) thing we are able to do for individuals with toxic behavior is Pray for them.
God is within the business of opening people’s eyes and changing them. Only God can turn a heart of stone right into a heart of flesh. Pray that He will make them aware of their sinful behavior and alter them.
“And I gives you a latest heart and I’ll put a latest spirit inside you. And I’ll remove the center of stone out of your body and provide you with a heart of flesh.” (Ezekiel 36)
Pray that God will show them what’s behind their behavior. There should be a reason why they behave this fashion. Ask God to disclose the motives, trauma, or hurt that could be causing them to behave in what might be called toxic ways. Ask Him to allow them to see what is occurring of their hearts.
“The heart is deceptive above all and desperately sick; who can understand it? “I, the Lord, search the center and search the mind, to present to every one in response to his ways, in response to the fruit of his deeds” (Jeremiah 17:9-10)
“Do you not see that every part that enters the mouth goes into the stomach after which leaves the body? But what comes out of the mouth comes from the center…” (Matthew 15)
Pray that they shall be open to a loving confrontation from you or one other godly believer. If it isn’t ready, it should be unprofitable.
“Teach a clever man and he shall be even wiser; teach the righteous, and he’ll increase his knowledge.” (Proverbs 9)
“If your brother sins against you, go and rebuke him alone. If he listens to you, you could have gained your brother.” (Matthew 18)
“Brethren, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who’re spiritual should convert him in a spirit of meekness. Beware lest ye even be tempted. Bear each other’s burdens, and thus fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6)
You must relate to the toxic person in a biblical way:
After confronting them and bringing them to their attention, be prepared to bring other God-fearing believers with you if that person doesn’t take heed to you.
“If your brother sins against you, go and rebuke him alone. If he listens to you, you could have gained your brother. (Matthew 18)
While it might be mandatory to walk away from a relationship with an individual with toxic traits, as a believer, this must be a final resort. But you could have to watch out to relate to the toxic person in a biblical way. There is room for shielding yourself and following biblical principles on the subject of how much time you spend with them and whether you’ll make them your “companion.”
“Do not be deceived: “Bad company spoils good character.”1 Corinthians 15)
“He who walks with the clever will grow to be clever, the companion of the silly will suffer loss.” (Proverbs 13)
“Be not friends with a violent man, nor walk with a violent man, lest you learn his ways and fall into his snare.” (Proverbs 22)
You must prayerfully and punctiliously consider easy methods to handle all relationships, use the Word of God as a guide, and do not forget that we’re all sinful human beings. We is not going to be perfect. Toxic behavior is an issue of the center, and we’re all able to displaying these behaviors if we usually are not in fellowship with God.
None of us grew up in perfect homes, experienced perfect relationships, or are proof against situations that may hurt us or cause us emotional trauma. We must remember to treat the “toxic people” in our lives the best way we would really like to be treated if we behaved that way due to something we went through in our past.
We need one another, and God uses us in each of our lives to assist us see our needs. This is how the body of Christ is purported to function.
Image credit: ©GettyImages/Wavebreakmedia