Growth in a wedding sometimes requires us to take a step back to maneuver forward in a recent direction. When we see the negative cycle spiraling uncontrolled in our relationship, it is easy to need to throw every part we have now into “fixing” the issue. Even worse, we will run away feeling defeated and powerless to alter the broken spaces in our relationships. While taking motion is essential (ignoring the red flags in our marriages isn’t clever), sometimes probably the most powerful thing we will do is take a step back to stop and invite God into our mess. Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still and know that I’m God; I might be exalted among the many nations, I might be exalted on earth.” Our mysterious God reminds us that He does His job best once we step aside and adopt an attitude of immovable give up in His presence.
This space is just not a “I’m sick of you, I never need to talk over with you again” space. It is you, as a spouse, who deliberately chooses peace. It is in these moments of silence that we keep in mind that it’s God who gives us the ability to be the spouses we’re called to be! In silence, we realize that our marriages are greater than just us and our needs, but a spot where we will live out the biblical call to “serve each other with love” (Galatians 5:13).
In this space of humble, prayerful invitations and sometimes desperate cries for help to our capable and great God, we will have the grace to step back and permit the waters of our relationship to calm. When we relinquish our rights and control and realize that only God can heal the broken places between us, we may also stop prodding and tormenting one another with the usual setbacks. We can begin to forgive one another for the growing wounds that need to tear us apart.
Being immobile can feel like not mentioning every flaw or deciding to point out mercy when things don’t go based on plan as a substitute of fighting in your right to be right. It may even appear to be turning the opposite cheek (Matthew 5:38-40). Biblical marriage is stuffed with humility, sacrificial love, and forgiveness.
In this place of holy invitation, prayer is our weapon! We can summon the angelic armies from heaven to do what only God can do in our homes. It takes such trust and humility to assemble your personal combat weapon. It is a deep give up to provide up our right to defend ourselves and trust God to be our guardian and guide. We usually are not alone on this fight; God is with us and offers us the strength to step back and love our partners beyond what could ever be considered reasonable.
Here are some prayers in your struggling marriage:
1. Prayer for forgiveness
Ephesians 4:32 Be kind and merciful to at least one one other, forgiving each other as God forgave you in Christ.
Father, would you give each of us strength, grace, patience and wisdom to point out our kindness and compassion to at least one one other. Could you reveal how unforgiveness paved the best way for the foundation of bitterness to poison our relationship. Give us the strength to unpack the baggage that the years have gracefully created. Open our hearts to experience Your wonderful gift of forgiveness. May we follow your example of affection beyond reason. Please help us stop counting evil and accept Your example of wonderful grace in our home. Amen.
Ephesians 5:33 But let each of you like his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she honors her husband.
God, graciously grant us to see one another as You see us. Show us the ways you like your spouse. Help us deal with their gifts, talents, service and love. Open our eyes to the fact of the infinite mercy you’ve got bestowed on each of us. Let us treat one another with love and respect. Give us self-control and humility to stop and take heed to one another before we defend ourselves. Let love and respect permeate our interactions. Amen.
3. Prayer for renewed love
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 Love is patient and sort; love doesn’t envy or boast; he is just not smug or rude. He doesn’t insist on his own way; he is just not irritable or resentful; he doesn’t rejoice in injustice, but rejoices with the reality. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for the prophecies, they may pass away; as for tongues, they may stop; so far as knowledge is worried, it would pass away.
God, thanks for being a God of affection and teaching us to be such as you. I’m so grateful that your word teaches us walk in your ways and offers us practical advice in our lives. Let our marriage be full of love again. Give each of you the power to be patient, kind, humble, protect one another, let go of resentment, and luxuriate in every part. May you endure the hard things we endured. Would you give us hope at nighttime times of life! Bless them with the lasting love that guides them through life together. Bless each of us with a heart stuffed with love for each other. Amen.
4. Prayer for wisdom
James 1:5 And if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it would be given him.
God, give every marriage the wisdom it needs to maneuver forward, step-by-step. Give us the strength to be the primary to follow You in a world that doesn’t understand God’s way. Speak to our hearts concerning the clever next step for our marriage and family. Help us to see through the distractions which are thrown at us and have the opportunity to follow Your narrow path. Silence the voices of confusion, discouragement, distraction or temptation that might ensnare us with madness. Help us to trust You and follow You all our days. Amen.
If you would like recent direction, God invites you to take a moment and pause before looking up another self-help article. He wants you to go to him before you throw up your hands in defeat or pack up pleas in anger. There is another choice that involves God’s wonderful power to heal your marriage! It goes against our instinct to run away, defend ourselves, justify or make amends. God invites us to abide in His presence, keep in mind that God controls all of the threads that make up your life together, and invite Him to do the work of repair that only He can do. Seek Him first, then find this recent way forward together.
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