Have you ever noticed that the guys you really want don’t want you on the same level… yet easy and effortlessly attract guys you don’t really want? It’s confusing and frustrating. You clearly have redeeming qualities because they exist some guys who want so far you… just don’t appear to be the ones you really want. Why?
I asked myself this query a plot when i used to be single and dating in my 20s. It was so confusing because at first it gave the impression of guys cool to me. It gave the impression of once I reciprocated that things had gone off the rails and suddenly I used to be desperate and chasing as an alternative of being chased.
This is something many, many ladies have experienced. Let’s have a look at this a bit deeper…
It really comes right down to your vibe. What does it mean? Your vibration is basically your energy, and that is created from the thoughts you think and your general mindset. Most people can intuitively sense someone’s mood. You know when you’re in the presence of an anxious, insecure person. You also know when you are in the presence of a confident, pleased person.
Being positive is the vibe; it’s the energy that comes up. You can say all the right things, but when you feel negative inside, it should show up anyway. Our climate attracts people or repels them. That’s why women often encounter the phenomenon of being easily interested in guys they don’t seem to be great at… and pushing away guys they really like.
When I posted about it on my Tik Tok, loads of people in the comments said that if the guys you want don’t want you, it’s because you pick guys “out of your league”. First of all, I don’t imagine in leagues. I feel they will be easily surpassed and your “league” is more a way of thinking than the rest that will be modified. But I’m not talking about in search of a man from afar who doesn’t notice you. I’m talking a few guy who was really all in favour of you at first, after which suddenly it appeared to change.
Now sometimes it’s since it wasn’t a match. But if you notice, this only happens with guys really what really you want to be serious, well, it’s probably something else.
Why does this occur? Well, briefly, with guys you don’t want or guys you’re hesitant about, it is easy to be pleased, positive, and uncensored because you don’t have much to lose. You don’t let worries, fears, or insecurities come into the picture because you’re not so attached to the end result. Instead, just enjoy interacting with the other person, and if that works out, great. If not, that is high-quality too – you weren’t involved anyway.
Now with the guys you want, the stakes are higher. You really want things to work out, and that prompts your fears…specifically, the fear that it won’t work out. This results in negative thoughts… you take into consideration all the guys you liked in the past and the way things didn’t work out with them, you dwell in your negative traits and you worry that they’ll prevent you from getting the love you want, you obsessively worry about doing something which is able to make this guy lose interest.
This worry results in upset, which might take many forms: anger, nervousness, self-consciousness, paranoia, bitterness, jealousy, unworthiness, stupidity, lack of affection, etc. All of this comes from relationship stress.
When you are in that way of thinking, it’s inconceivable to create a real connection because you will not be there. You will not be present in your interactions with him, you are interacting with the anxious thoughts in your personal mind, not with the person in front of you.
Often once we like someone who doesn’t appear to reciprocate, it triggers something in us and we mistake that feeling of arousal for being in love. Maybe it brings back old childhood wounds, possibly it prompts your subconscious fears that you won’t be adequate, that you’ll never find love. You have to get out of the emotional maelstrom of your personal thoughts and have a look at what is de facto happening inside you and why.
Over 90% of communication is non-verbal, so it doesn’t matter what you say, how you really feel, it speaks louder. The most vital thing to deal with is attending to the right place internally. You have to get your thoughts under control and begin questioning those who don’t serve you.
Start by noticing your thoughts throughout the day. Then have a look at the thought. Let’s say you think:This guy hasn’t texted me back… he’s probably losing interest. Why does this at all times occur to me?” Stop. Notice the thought. Then ask yourself: is that this thought serving me well? Does it lead me where I want to go?
If it evokes feelings of fear, insecurity, anxiety, negativity, etc., the answer is: no. It’s not serving you well. Recognize this after which shift your mind to something more positive and productive.
Do all of it day. It could appear strange at first, but you get used to it after which it becomes second nature. You will notice that it should develop into more natural and you will feel lighter and calmer.
When you begin to worry that all the pieces will collapse, shift your attention and ask, “What if all the pieces works out?”
Sometimes it is so easy. When you take away the power of those negative, crazy thoughts, you place yourself in a lighter, more positive headspace, which makes you magnetic. This is largely the essence of manifestation. It’s attending to that place of inner peace and tranquility and knowing that all the pieces will work out… and when you’re in that space, it normally does.