If you’ve got been dumped, it’s only natural that you just want him to regret his decision.
I assume you wish him to be sorry he left you because you wish him to return back. Or possibly you wish him to suffer just a little, that is fantastic. I understand where your head is.
Missing someone will not be reason enough to get back together. You broke up for a reason, probably for several reasons, and people reasons don’t go away since you miss one another. If you are attempting to make him miss you, it’d work to win him back, but you’ll likely break up again soon after.
I’m going to let you know how one can make him regret leaving you, and because it happens, doing this stuff will enable you get to a stronger, more powerful place, a spot where you are ready for an emotionally healthy relationship, either with an ex, or with another person.
1. Follow the no contact rule.
This is crucial whether you wish him back or wish to beat him. You need to cut off all contact. No phone calls, no texts, no snaps, no staged random encounters, and I’ll add no sneaking around on his social media accounts, though it technically doesn’t count as contact since it has the identical devastating effect.
Studies found that continued contact with an ex can disrupt emotional recovery. So principally you are getting stuck in the identical vulnerable, unhappy place.
A breakup can bring up lots of confusing emotions, and you are not quite using your best judgment on the time. You need time and space to detox from all of it.
Your impulse control is way weaker after a breakup, which may cause you to do things that sabotage your probabilities of getting what you actually need, which is getting your ex back (or possibly moving on completely). You can act unbalanced, needy or desperate, and this could make him feel much more sure that he doesn’t wish to return to himself. This may even drive your self-esteem to the bottom. That’s not what we would like here.
2. Give him what he wants.
Does he desire a breakup? Great, give it to him!
Sometimes it takes an enormous dose of giving someone what they think they intend to make them realize that they don’t need it.
He broke up with you… OK, now you are out of his life. Now he can feel what it really means. He cannot experience the pain of your absence unless you’re absent.
He won’t expect you to only let it go. He’ll probably expect you to pursue him, he’ll expect to find a way to get you back at any time when he desires to, he’ll think he’ll keep hearing about you, and he most certainly doesn’t think it’s that final.
Don’t let him be so sure of those beliefs!
Don’t go where you are not wanted. You are value greater than that. And please don’t attempt to be friends with him, it never ends well!
3. Keep going.
After a breakup, you mustn’t ask, “How can I get him back?” You shouldn’t even ask the title of this text: “How do I make him regret leaving me?”
The query you need to be asking yourself is how can I get out of this?
It seems counterintuitive when you want it, and at any time when I give this recommendation to my coaching clients, I can see the immediate resistance on their faces. I attempt to get it back and he or she tells me to maintain going?! But you might have to do it.
You need to remember you can live without it. You have to get back in contact with yourself, remember? I bet you lost lots of yourself on this relationship… the tip of a relationship can completely swallow you whole. So check in at your home – how are you? What you wish? You’ve been eager about him, his needs and feelings for thus long… what about you?
Can it’s recovered? Yes, but that may only occur when you’ve each worked on yourself and are emotionally healthy enough to repair what broke the primary time in the connection. If not, history will just repeat itself.
4. Become strong again.
A failing relationship can wear you down. Your time away from him is the equivalent of a can of spinach to Pop-Eye, it would enable you get strong again.
Become someone stronger than who this relationship made you. Find your inner power. Find your power of alternative – are you actually selecting it? Or do you simply want it because it is simple and convenient and also you already comprehend it and also you’d slightly return to something familiar and comfy even when the familiar is not best for you because starting over is just so discouraging?
If you do not find your inner strength, you will just be at his mercy and collapse at any time when he desires to see you. You can tolerate bad behavior since you’re afraid to rock the boat and damage your probabilities of getting it back. This can lead you right into a toxic relationship where you’ll repeat yourself. Be stronger so you may make higher decisions for yourself.
5. Don’t take it back.
I’m not saying you may’t get it back and make it work a second time, it’s definitely possible (I married an ex, I mean!). But it would not be different unless something is different!
Change takes time and work, reflection and insight. You broke up since it was broken, broken things don’t magically fix themselves. Both people have to be involved in fixing what’s broken. Both people need to work independently on one another and together as a unit.
So if he comes back… don’t hand over so soon. Don’t run and meet him at any time when he nods. Don’t reply to his texts in the course of the night. Don’t be a ravenous puppy who’s hot on his heels, waiting for just a little affection he’s willing to sacrifice. It won’t make you’re feeling good about yourself, it would only make things worse.
I promise you will not at all times feel the best way you do now. You won’t at all times miss him a lot. One day you will find a way to assume a greater, brighter future for yourself that does not include it. One day you will look back and know it was for the very best. One day you’ll realize that it has shaped you in immeasurable ways. It will all make sense eventually. And the earlier you let go and are available to terms with what’s, the earlier you shall be free and capable of move on and be pleased.
